discipline and structure is something that has always been rather foreign to me. I used to find myself terribly uncomfortable making a list of deadlines and events, but lately I can't get enough. I want to fill nearly every day with something exciting. I've had a sticky note next to my bed that says "kick today's ass. do something exciting today!" I've done pretty well so far considering the amount of anxiety those words used to cause me. it used to put too much pressure on my day because just getting out of bed was hard enough some days. now, though, challenges like making memorable moments and trying new things has become a great interest of mine.
I enjoy exploring surrounding towns and taking people to see the things that I feel I've uncovered. most of us tend to go throughout our lives repeating the same routine and same schedule, and I have just never enjoyed that lifestyle. I get bored way too easily when it comes to the 9 to 5 working for the weekend mindset. if I get an invite to an event in NYC but I have to work early the next morning, I don't want to decline the invite because I'll miss a few hours asleep. I would much rather take the opportunity to meet new people and see new places even if it means I'll be a little tired the next day (isn't that what coffee's for?).
I won't let go of this feeling, even though some days it slips and I mold right back into the perfect addition of my recliner and watch episodes of series for the umpteenth time. I am finding balance between the two because although I am changing as the days go on, I still know that I have a habit of doing too much too soon. it's important that I take it slow and rest some days. today is one of those days.
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